Monday 26 November 2012

Completely fucking terrified

For almost a week now I've been teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

I have no idea why I'm so scared of doctors, dentists, and hospitals. Really, no idea. There was no unfortunate hospital-related explosion in my childhood. I wasn't kidnapped by a mad doctor who wanted to turn me into a super soldier so that I could one day fight in the imminent zombie uprising. Okay, so that last one wouldn't have been that bad. Actually it would have been pretty fucking awesome. My point is that there wasn't even one teeny tiny little marginally traumatic event that might have caused this insane level of fear.

The machines make me nervous, the sterile smell makes me sick, all that goddamn fucking white looks like a nineties movie version of heaven and reminds you that this is where people come to die, and all the so-called professionals look like sociopathic serial killers who are just barely containing their homicidal urges so why the fuck are we giving these people drills and scalpels?

When I was a little kid my parents took me to the dentist and I was so overcome with fear that I kicked and screamed bloody murder until they had to force one of those mask things on me to knock me out. My mother recently told me it was so bad that the nurses thought my parents abused me.

You can probably guess that I haven't been to the dentist since then. For years my mother has been nagging me to go have my teeth cleaned, especially since I started smoking regularly. After several bribes I finally gave in about a week ago, and even then I almost had to be dragged into the car.

The only reason I even agreed to go in the first place was because I was placated by assurances of what a "simple, easy, and painless" procedure it would be. Just a quick clean. Ha! Famous last words.

The dentist put me in something resembling a lunar module and after some deliberation about whether keeping my piercings in would give me cancer or not, and several X-rays later, I was informed that there were eight holes to fill in and four wisdom teeth to pull. Apparently the easiest way to do all this would be to knock me out for three hours and finish it all in one go. The dentist and I clearly disagree on the definition of "easiest".  And it has to be done within the next two weeks because the dentist wants to get in a nice long torture session before going away for the christmas holidays.

Yeah. I can't even begin to tell y'all how fucking terrified I am. And don't even try to tell me that it's not that it's not a big deal, because I have seen way too many movies where someone's soul escapes from their body while they're unconscious and an evil soul rushes in and takes over their life and nobody ever notices and then their real soul is stuck in limbo forever and it's all because some asshole told them going to the dentist wouldn't be a big deal.

3 comments:

  1. I've never really understood the fear of dentists- my dentist is bloody awesome.
    He recently removed two teeth from my mouth and I didn't feel a thing :3

    Good luck! I hope it's not too bad!

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  2. I'm always incredibly self-conscious when I go to the dentist's, worried that they'll notice I forgot to brush my teeth last night or whatnot. I think we all have at least one irrational phobia; it's human nature. I for one am deathly afraid of spiders-I'll scream bloody murder if I even think I see one...wishing you the best!
    P.S. I'm a huge fan of Faking It! You're a kick-ass author!

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  3. I'm a huge fan of 'Faking it' and that's what drew me here... Well to b honest I'm not scared of dentist because my dentist used to b awesome (i havent been there in quite some time) but I'm scared of doctors they always say I've got acidity n tell me to stop eating :@

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